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[03 Jun 2005|03:56pm] |
Haha.
Hey you guys. Long time no update, I know.
I've been mighty busy with a flash collab and shit at my sheezy site.
<3 Birthday coming up soon. I'll accept NO cake.
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[15 May 2005|11:43pm] |
Your dating personality profile:
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Romantic - You know exactly how to melt your date's heart. Romance comes naturally to you and is an important component of any relationship you have.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. | Your date match profile:
Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life.
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Romantic - You need someone with a traditional understanding of romance. A true romantic is a must-have in any potential date. | Your Top Ten Traits
1. Liberal
2. Romantic
3. Big-Hearted
4. Adventurous
5. Intellectual
6. Sensual
7. Wealthy/Ambitious
8. Shy
9. Traditional
10. Practical
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Big-Hearted
2. Adventurous
3. Romantic
4. Intellectual
5. Funny
6. Outgoing
7. Conservative
8. Practical
9. Traditional
10. Athletic
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Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
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[13 May 2005|11:39pm] |
What You Really Think Of Your Friends
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Amon is your soulmate. |
| You truly love Gabby. |
| You consider Kellie your true friend. |
| You know that Nick is always thinking of you. |
| You'll remember Kate for the rest of your life. |
| You secretly think Joey is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. |
| You secretly think that April is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. |
| You secretly think that Matt is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Matt changes lovers faster than underwear. |
| You secretly think Eddie is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Eddie has a hidden internet romance. |
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[11 May 2005|09:36pm] |
You know what? I wish my middle name was "fucking".
Then I'd be "Ren Fucking Foskey"...That's intimidating if you ask me...
...unless someone else is named "John Mother Fucker," then they wouldn't be so intimidated by my name.
No... I would probably have to kill their dog.
You're not so tough now Mother Fucker, are you!!
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[11 May 2005|07:38pm] |
im back on the playing field again.
even though i dont think ill be ready again for dating for a while. until i get lonely again, i suppose.
amon is still one of my best friends. we're just not going steady anymore.
i want to thank michelle especially more making me feel alive again. Thank you my muffin.
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[09 May 2005|10:19pm] |
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As you grow up, you learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight w/ your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing so fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too hard, and love like you've never been hurt because every minute you spend mad or upset is a minute of happiness that you'll never get back.
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[04 May 2005|08:40pm] |
One little thing can make you happier than a thousand huge things.
And just as easilly rip you to shreds.
the most true words ive heard all day. and oh the crying wont stop, it never stops, ive cried more today than i did the week my dad, my grandma, and my uncle died
all in one week
days apart
ive cried more today
in one day
than that week and the weeks following it
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[04 May 2005|05:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 . |
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somehow, eddie goodman is becoming one of my closest friends.
i wish everything were back to normal.
this cut, this problem, this whole thing.
i cried when i woke up. its my sisters birthday. my mom was all chipper. i tried. i was melancholy.
i got to school. i was miserable. i watched him at the tree, laughing, happy. im was happy for him. except, i wasnt happy at all.
electronics... almost burned myself on soldering iron. on purpose. to bring my attention to a different pain.
art. i couldnt concentrate on my charcoal drawing, the whole picture was going to be for him. its hard to work with it now.
english. read a story about a happily married couple. jack calling amon a faggot. him asking me if id broken up with him yet. me not answering. him feeling stupid.
biology...usually my favorite period because he makes me happy when we talk at the door. i didnt bother waiting at the door, i was almost about to cry as it was.
lunch... i was pretty quiet for once.
math... doodling on my papers and shouting "shut the fuck up" to durrell. thats the onyl thing i said that class. one of the only things i said all day.
spanish.... i slept. took a test. accidently wrote "amon" in the name space.
government... started to cheer up because richard insley and jordan are fucking idiots. it was amusing.
then... i get outside, and im actually happy for the first time in the day, and me and gabby run out into the memorial garden next to the bus ramp and started to pick dandelions and blowing the seeds around everywhere. i smiled and started singing "make a wish make a wish". we blew them in our hair, we were happy and having fun. then i see him come out and suddenly a pain wwent through my body, my heart went into my throat. he asked if i was going to talk to him at all today, and it was all i could do not to cry, i just said yes and walked away so he wouldnt see me tearing up.
went to drama, blah blah, cried, etc, thespian shit. i sat in the back.
got home. talked to eddie.
...tried to call amon but as soon as the phone started to ring, I ONCE AGAIN started to cry and I couldnt get anything out, none of the "sorry"s or "what happened to us" that i wanted to say. No. I start to cry, and I say "I have to make spaghetti, bye". and he says ok, we hang up.
im torn into pieces i can hardly breathe...
you say ill be okay but do you really know?
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[04 May 2005|06:54am] |
yeah. i know.
i cant ever do anything right.
i am very adequate at fucking things up.
and what can i do about it? nothing. nothing, because when it comes to using my heart, my tears get in the way.
oh yeah, i forgot...
ManicEmoKid: maybe we are two stupid teens on self destruct mode, in anyway could that be good, ppl grow and change, and we will eventually not be together
most reassuring. im glad to know that when you said you could marry me, you were also thinking, "hey this cant last too much longer."
yeah im changing, but i cant say its for any better.
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[03 May 2005|10:22pm] |
Your English Skills:
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Grammar: 100% |
Spelling: 100% |
Punctuation: 80% |
Vocabulary: 80% |
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[03 May 2005|09:32pm] |
I'm done, there's nothing left to show
Try but I can't let go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
To another, it feels so hard
As a train approaches, getting on
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?
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[01 May 2005|10:38pm] |
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mood |
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 yeah, or something. |
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| [ |
music |
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Death Cab- The New Year |
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So everybody put your best suit or dress on, let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once. Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn as thirty dialogues bleed into one. I wish the world was flat like the old days, then i could travel just by folding a map. No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways, there'd be no distance that can hold us back.
There'd be no distance that could hold us back.
Oh drown me in Death Cab For Cutie, and don't pull me back up this time.
Happy May 1.
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[01 May 2005|07:28pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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jimmy eat world- 23 |
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im an idiot.
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[29 Apr 2005|07:38pm] |
Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male |
Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! |
hey amon, consider taking that one. ;)
Your Seduction Style: The Natural |
You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast. |
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[28 Apr 2005|07:40pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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| [ |
music |
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JEW- 23 |
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ugh.
i have a newfound reason to dislike preps.
CMON PEOPLE LETS BE UNIQQUUUEEEEE and not so BLANDDD and YIPPY. Lets get an education. Lets all be smart, and not the same.
Lets not be blonde, either.
I have a newfound love for Jimmy Eat World. Especially "shes perfect", "night drive", "work", "23", and "sweetness".
Huzzah, y'all. Huzzah.
and i miss amon. sooo much. i wanna go to hot topic and walk around holding his hand like we did on december 18th, 2004.
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you
\\\\\\\\\\\\=rebn.
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[28 Apr 2005|02:10pm] |
Might i remind you about that little list i amde back in January? Thank you.
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[28 Apr 2005|12:00pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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Jimmy Eat World- Night Drive |
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( I'm proud of dis. )
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[26 Apr 2005|09:36pm] |
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.
<3ren<3
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[26 Apr 2005|06:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Jimmy Eat World- Night Drive |
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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
x ren
x renner
x rennifer/ron/renold/ronnifer/ronald/rennifer magnesium the third
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
x My voice
x My eyes
x My hair
THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
x My body.
x My meidocre skills in EVERYTHING. NOTHING is better than a C grade.
x My fat
THREE THINGS YOU'RE FEELING:
x Lonely.
x Hungry.
x Proud of my Emo, fucking music genius.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
x Medicine/Drugs
x Poverty
x Bacteria
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
x The Academy Is...
x Death Cab For Cutie
x Jimmu Eat World
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
x Lose weight.
x Not fail school.
x Become the best thing thats ever happened to Amon. Blow him away.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no order - guess which are which?):
x I'm ugly.
x I cry when I listen to Jimmy Eat World-Night Drive
x I have nine legs and an extra eyeball on my elbow.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
x Scratch my leg.
x Be with Emo
x Be with Emo.
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
x Cinematographer
x Film Technician
x Something in the Musician area.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
x Stand above clouds, on a mountain. Throw a rock into the sky.
x Paint a picture in Paris.
x Jump off a cliff into a waterfall.
THREE THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR BF/GF (IF NO BF/GF THEN YOUR BEST FRIEND):
x His eyes
x His touch
x Oh god everything.
P.s. I wish I had talent. I went to Amon's Orchestral concert and I had a good time. I need a skill. He's got a passion, and well, the only passions I have are photography, music.... and him. Not that original. But when I define passion, its when everything you do involves that or you cant keep your mind off it. I'm sooo proud of him. He played well. Everyone did (except a handful of people.)
And whats my skill? Photography? Thats not a skill. Thats having a camera and getting pictures at the right time. Music? Thats not my skill. I just love it soooo much. It can alter my entire being. Drawing? No. I flat out suck at drawing. As amon always reminds me, I dont draw half as well as Kristin and I cant draw noses. SO WHAT IS IT THAT IM PLACED ON THIS EARTH FOR? To exist?!?!
Theres got to be something. And until then, I'll lay on my carpet, stare at the ceiling, gaze through the paneling into the stars and picture myself on the moon, where id be unique, instead of a fucking penguin on an iceberg. Someplace where I'm my own person. In fact, I'm STILL nervous about being with Amon, because I still don't picture myself on the same level. I guess no matter what I do he'll always be the one surrounded by girls and people that want to have a piece. I dont see any guys lining up for me, as Gabby assures me they are. A Ha. She could be a comedian.
Well, Jimmy and I are going to go Eat World. I'll talk to you all later.
<3renner<3
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[24 Apr 2005|10:06pm] |
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mood |
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this smiley sun sucks |
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music |
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The Academy Is...- Almost Home |
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So today me, mom, and amon went to wal mart and stuff. Got new patio furniture. Amon got rainbow yarn and black & red duct tape. o__o
Came back to my house, played with kittens, played my guitar. Then amon decides hes going to take about 10 pieces of yard long yarn and tape it to my wall and um, weave? So hes pulling and braiding or something them, and I'm tightening the knots (its taped to my slanted area of the ceiling.) And then we really get going at it and hes weaving, I'm tightening, and he says,"
"Now this is Love."
Id like to have pounced on him laughing, but I didnt, and I just laughed and smiled a lot. It was so cute.
We were a well oiled machine.
And then Markee brought the patio furniture in his truck, and its got this huge ass box and we unpack it, put the chairs and shit on my deck, and put the box (cut horizontally) on the ground next to the steps. Then me and amon look at each other, look at this huge bigger-than-refrigerator box, back at each other... its right next to my deck steps, and hes like, "we should get in it." I told him, "do it do it" hes like "nuh uh". So I jumped in. I could sit in it. Markee and my mom were like "its your new car" and i was like yay, its got a sunroof. Then Markee and Mom go in, and I pull down the flap so my head is covered, and I tell amon to get in. So he jumps in, and we're sitting there, and we put our feet out of the top, so now were scrunched in this box together, all uncomfortable, but kinda are comfortable. It was so cool. Then Markee comes and starts to practice kickboxing (hahahaha oh god im a comedian :-| )and that was not cool.
So we have to get out of the box. Then we put together the patio furniture. That was cool. Then he had to leave. And that definetly was not cool.
Then he was home and I was home and I decided to draw a kingdom and amon decided to color it.
( heres the pic )
Yeah that was my day. I luver the amon. We're such fucking weird people.
<3 I love you emo.
Goodnight Moon. (remember that book it was so much the awesome)
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